3 Questions to transform the frustration of not getting a promotion into a growing opportunity

We've all been there:

You are proud of your performance. You see good results and are earning respect from your team.

You can smell that deserved promotion coming, but while you prepare your thank you speech, the promotion goes to someone else.

Nothing against them, but we can't feel happy for them. It feels unfair.

We want and need to do something. But what, and how?

If you can relate to this, you are in the right place.

Let's dig a bit there. You may get mad at me initially. But stick with me and let's think together.

Assess the situation

The first thing to do is to assess the situation.

You know this was unfair… But answer this question honestly: Was it?

We only know what we do from our perspective. But we don't know:

• How others perceive our work
• What others do
• How others' work is perceived

I want to say that there is one reason for your boss to promote someone else.

You were convinced the promotion should come to you, but your boss chose someone else. There are 3 main possibilities for this to happen:

• You are wrong. Your colleague deserves it more than you.
• You are right, but your boss disagrees. Then, you are not showing your value.
• You are right, and your boss agrees, but they decided to give it to someone else.

Think about the above reasons and collect evidence supporting your thoughts.

Think different approaches

Even when you think that you have an answer, you don't.

Understanding the reason and how you can learn from the experience is mandatory to ensure that the next promotion will be yours.

Consider the 3 alternatives. You will talk to your boss and get information.

If your colleague deserved it more, where are you falling behind? What could you have done differently to get it?

If your boss perceives a lower value, you must know how to change it. Ultimately, you are delivering very well, but your personal marketing is failing. What's the idea they have about you?

The third option is the toughest one. As it seems that doesn't depend on you. But you're mistaken. You can still learn from it (e.g., change your attitude). Additionally, showing your awareness sends a message to the Company.

Now that you prepared what you would like to know about each situation, it's time to talk with your boss.

Talk with your boss.

This may look like a difficult conversation. But believe me. It's much harder for your boss than for you.

Our objective in this conversation is to answer these 3 questions:

• Why didn't we receive the promotion?
• What can we learn from that?
• What can we do to get the next one?

The first step is to understand which of the 3 reasons took the promotion from you. You will make your boss talk without judging. But you will also let them know your feelings. Example:

"Considering how I performed and my achievements during this time, I was looking forward to that promotion. And I felt disappointed that I didn't get it."

By the beginning of the conversation, they may disclose the leading cause for their decision. It's your opportunity to go deeper by asking about your weaknesses and to know what you should do better.

With this information, you can create a plan for attacking your deficiencies and becoming a better worker. This will bring only good results. No matter whether it is the next promotion or making you more valuable for other positions.

By talking to your boss, you let them know you want the promotion, already deserve it, and will do whatever it takes to get it. So, the next time, they will think better before passing you over.

Takeaway

Even though this is a frustrating experience, we can use it to grow and show maturity.

The decision was made, and we can't change that. But by facing it professionally, we are sending a message for the future.

Facing the fact that we are not as good as we thought is painful. But it is required for our evolution. It will help us to become better workers and increase our value.

That's all for today. Thank you for reading. See you next time.