How to determine if you should leave a toxic job when you highly depend on it

Resigning from our jobs is always difficult, even in a toxic environment.

The reason is that we are used to it. We coped with it for a while and think we can keep doing it. But we have a limit, and it’s better to identify it before it’s too late.

This difficulty multiplies when we are highly dependent on our jobs.

Current situation

A high dependence on our jobs usually means 2 things:

• It’s our single source of income
• We don’t have enough savings to cover our 3-month expenses (i.e., we can’t live 3 months without a job)

That leaves us in a situation where we can’t take significant risks. Keeping our job seems the safest option, but we must re-think that assumption when our health is at risk.

To determine our best alternative, we should first perform a self-assessment and then make a decision.

Self-Assessment

1- List every toxic aspect of your work environment

You have only 2 options to deal with unagreeable situations at work: You either change/avoid it or ignore/accept it. It would be ideal to change everything we dislike, but we can’t. And even when possible, the effort we need to put to change it is not worth it. That’s why the next step is so crucial.

2- Think about each issue

This analysis will be uncomfortable because you must explore your pains and identify the actions you could take. You are accepting responsibility for what bothers you.

• How severe is it?
• Can it be changed/avoided?
• How much effort and time would it take?
• Are you willing to make that effort?

We often don’t know how to improve some aspects (or if we can do that). However, I usually follow these principles:

We can change some external factors in small environments. These include relationships with specific colleagues, processes within a small team, and the roles we occupy. This doesn’t mean we can always do something about them, but we can at least try and quickly learn how it works.

But our influence is limited when the problems are spread and affect many areas. An excellent example of that is the companies where people work with fear. We can’t solve anything because we always need someone else’s action, but our colleagues don’t want to assume responsibility.

3- Compare your situation with your industry

You may have identified a few pains that you can’t do anything about or require an excessive effort you are unwilling to do.

The next introspection level is to ensure that those pains are related to your work environment and not to yourself. In other words, “Are they going to disappear if you change your job?”

Maybe the same happens at other companies in your industry, and it represents a problem for you because of the moment you are going through or another internal factor.

Reflecting on it is essential to avoid directing your attention and hope in the wrong direction.

Similar to this, consider the positive characteristics of your current job and how common they are in your industry. Will you find them at another company, or will you resign from them to eliminate the negative ones?

Making the decision

You may have a clear picture at this point.

You identified the issues you can and are willing to work on, the ones you won’t change, and the benefits you won’t find if you go to another company.

1. If you find that you can work out most of the difficulties, it would be better to stay at your company and take action on them.
2. When you have 2 or 3 pain points for which you can’t see a way out, you need to leave. But, unfortunately, you can’t do it right away without money. So it’s better to use them as your motivation for saving money and leaving your job soon. The best alternatives include a side hustle or cutting expenses.
3. However, if you find problems that you can’t solve and that drain your energy to the point that you can’t stay at that job (because of either the high number or severity), then it’s better to leave it immediately and find a way to live with someone until you are established in a new job.

It’s worth highlighting that the lack of savings limits our freedom to choose. It may be late now, but that’s the most important lesson we can learn from this experience.

Conclusions

We usually don’t dedicate enough time to reflect on our situations and feelings.

But we need to do it before reaching our limit.

This self-awareness exercise is hard because we will face some uncomfortable thoughts. But it helps us create a clear image of our problems and an action plan to solve them.

However, we can’t change everything. We must pick our battles and make the right decision in each situation.

Savings and alternative plans give us more freedom to design our paths.