What if you are unhappy in a “Good” Job?

I had just finished my first freelancing project. And the second one was taking too long to show up.

In 4 months, I worked only 4 days as part of a task force (which was supposed to take 5, but they sent everybody home after the fourth day).

I was consuming my savings and feeling miserable.

Most of my friends tried to convince me to lower my demands (regarding rate, distance from home, or activity to perform).

But I finally got a job that met my needs. Or at least what I was requesting.

The worst job I ever had

The beginning was hard, and I expected that. But weeks went on, and I couldn’t get used to it. I was feeling even worse than in my unemployed period.

The problem was that it didn’t make sense:

• The rate was reasonable.
• The office was new and in a good neighborhood.
• Coworkers respected me. I had a good position and was doing what I knew.
• I worked from 9 to 5 without overtime.

There was no reason to be unhappy, but I was. I had no energy and was in a bad mood all the time. So I wanted to figure out what was happening.

Your values are not everybody’s values

After discarding the common reasons for being unhappy at work, I thought it was my problem. Different affirmations like “My sabbatical months made me lazy,” “I forgot how work is,” and some other madnesses invaded my head.

Some time later, I realized I always complained about the same when talking with colleagues and friends. The reason was there:

• I couldn’t get things done. I was always taking 1 step forward, 3 steps back.

I needed approval for everything. The approvers said they needed someone else’s approval, and the chain never ended. Even when I managed to put everyone together in a room, a new name came up, and I had to start all over again.

I went home frustrated every day because I couldn’t do anything productive. Even though no one complained about my job, I knew I was accomplishing nothing.

But that frustration was not on my checklist of “unhappiness causes.” So I didn’t consider it earlier.

The social belief is that as far as you are (well) paid, you should do whatever is required and be happy. If you are paid for doing nothing, or even worse, running in circles, that’s fine.

But I don’t work that way. And neither do you. So connecting with your feelings, listening to your complaints, and discarding any social belief is fundamental to understanding your reasons.

If everybody accepts something, it doesn’t mean you should accept it too.

Find your way

There are clear indicators that your job is not making you happy:

• How much you think about work when you are not working (and the kind of thoughts).
• Your feelings when leaving work every day.
• How much you look forward to the weekend and how bad Sunday evenings are.
• Your overall mood.

If something feels wrong, most probably, it is. Pay attention to your complaints and isolate what is pulling you down.

Trust your gut and ask for a change. You can change many things in your current job. But if you can’t, look for another one that better suits your personality.

You first need to change your mentality. Prioritize your happiness and well-being by respecting your way of working. Find a company that shares your values.

After 2,5 months, I told my boss that I was quitting but would stay until they found another person.

Luckily enough, that person came only 2 weeks after. I trained him for a few days and went away, coming back to my unemployed life.

On my way home that last day, I received a call from the company that had hired me for the task force some months before. They liked how I performed on those 4 days and were about to redesign that same project, so they offered me to join them from the beginning.

I could only say “Yes” to that opportunity because I had already said “No” to the job I didn’t want.